Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
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I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
I deserve this hangover.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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