Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
We left the knife in your bed.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Randomize
