My cat gives me a boner
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Randomize
