and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
