but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
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