Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
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