My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
