How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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