and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
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