I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
