I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
porn star boner night. come get it.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize