i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Randomize
