Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Randomize
