GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
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