Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Randomize
