He is such a slut. More and more my type.
The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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