Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
