My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Randomize
