omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
Randomize
