I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
