Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
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Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?