Texts From Last Night

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  (713): View more from Texas

  Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?

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  (713): Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing? http://tfl.nu/g5e5
  Replies (1) Good night (1030) Bad night (546)
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  (313): View more from Michigan

  i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology

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  (313): i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology http://tfl.nu/1r1t
  Replies (10) Good night (4813) Bad night (806)
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.

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  (412): thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out. http://tfl.nu/825u
  Replies (14) Good night (3627) Bad night (762)
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  (949): View more from California

  im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever

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  (949): im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever http://tfl.nu/2bk7
  Replies (28) Good night (4739) Bad night (836)
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  (506): View more from New Brunswick

  I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to

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  (506): I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to http://tfl.nu/sk6c
  Replies (25) Good night (5460) Bad night (1439)
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  (518): View more from New York

  he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."

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  (518): he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials." http://tfl.nu/vm6j
  Replies (20) Good night (8822) Bad night (1556)
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  (803): View more from South Carolina

  i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.

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  (803): i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to. http://tfl.nu/ojj7
  Replies (10) Good night (825) Bad night (4022)
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  (253): View more from Washington

  sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...

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  (253): sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident... http://tfl.nu/dmae
  Replies (16) Good night (1761) Bad night (1299)
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  (908): View more from New Jersey

  Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet

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  (908): Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet http://tfl.nu/3286
  Replies (5) Good night (2078) Bad night (538)
• Favorite

  (901): View more from Tennessee

  He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.

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  (901): He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy. http://tfl.nu/2710
  Replies (6) Good night (1695) Bad night (604)
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  (785): View more from Kansas

  The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?

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  (785): The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight? http://tfl.nu/iipx
  Replies (8) Good night (2336) Bad night (574)
• Favorite

  (908): View more from New Jersey

  I think I just cured my dogs munchies

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  (908): I think I just cured my dogs munchies http://tfl.nu/38nb
  Replies (1) Good night (353) Bad night (224)
• Favorite

  (586): View more from Michigan

  Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.

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  (586): Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at. http://tfl.nu/sdak
  Replies (2) Good night (274) Bad night (656)
• Favorite

  (239): View more from Florida

  How drunk do you guys plan on getting?

  (1-239): View more from Florida

  We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?

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  (239): How drunk do you guys plan on getting? (1-239): We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think? http://tfl.nu/11cm
  Replies (7) Good night (902) Bad night (179)
• Favorite

  (662): View more from Mississippi

  I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!

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  (662): I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good! http://tfl.nu/4rir
  Replies (0) Good night (178) Bad night (335)

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