dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
