So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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