I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Randomize
