I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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