You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
I'm just crazy horny about you
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
