Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
