I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
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