You just made me feel so damn special
Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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