I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
