Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
These 31 People Are Lazier Than You Could Ever Imagine
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
27 Drunk People That Pissed Off The Cops And Got What They Deserved
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful