he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
It’s A Miracle These 21 Promiscuous People Don’t Have STDs
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
These 27 Infuriatingly Annoying Habits Will Ruin Your Day
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT