blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
25 Of The Most Cringeworthy Internet Stalking Fails
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
21 People Who Barely Escaped Death
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.