i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
21 Of The Most Impressive Things Ever Seen In Porn
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
19 Parents Had Epic Reactions When Catching Their Kids Being “Bad”
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom