you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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