just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
