It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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