Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
zippers are such a cool invention
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
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