I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Randomize