with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
Randomize
