Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
Randomize
