D3 body, D1 cock
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
Randomize
