I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
