# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
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