in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
Randomize
