Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
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