I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Randomize
