Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
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