shes about as inviting as chlamydia
This show inspires me to have sex in space
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
Randomize