I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
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He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
he's gonorrhea incarnate
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
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I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
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