hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
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