What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
