Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
They have beer where we have blood.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
Randomize
