Nicole vs. Life
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
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