Your face is a jimmy john
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
