so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Randomize
