tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
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